Monday, January 23, 2006

Studying.. is it good or bad??

i got news that i was accepted for the Bachelor program in the company which Dan is workin for.. i really think that i'm really going to have no life.. cos my weekends will be burned.. so sad.... haiz..
my brain long time never study le.. now got to 'oil' them to get the rusty wheels to start moving.. well.. my time table will be like fri, sat, sun n mon... so LAME rite?? but Dan says it's workshop style not lecture style.. dunno lah... but still think it's lame.. my brain cannot absorb so much at one go.. and how to digest all the information after a hard day's work.. my brain will b e auto shut down liao.. still have to study.. plus during weekends when people resting.. i'm studying my butt off... i do not think that the consolation which is the attachment, which allows me to go overseas will make me happy at the end of the course.. i might sound very proud to say this.. I've been to Vegas.. i've visited the famous casinos.. i've seen the technology they are using there, which btw we are lagging.. so wat's Australia's casino and Maccau's?? how can they be compared?? i've seen the impressive buildings which looks like the real thing.. So wat?? I know people will start cursing n swearing at me when they see how i put the 2 countries down.. but it's juz how i feel now... i dun mean it.. i like the 2 countries.. n i'm not contardicting myself.. i JUZ dun wan to give up my weekends.. dun wan to give up my social life.. i'm really feeling very negetive about this now... i do hope people will understand.. and i hope to start thinking in a positive manner soon.. like studying is good (eh.. think i need to get bonged on the head for me to really belive this).. getting a degree is good for me (maybe this one i will say).. etc etc...
i think my temper will start flaring again... 1st person who will get it will be my dad... y... cos he's the one who is pushing me to study... if he starts to push me too much.. i'll snap... n war will start.. it's not going to be easy to work n study at the same time.. + my dad still wants me to go for my driving.. i seriously dun think i can cope will so much so soon..
even though my course starts in March.. i'm already worried.. partly because i'm in the events line.. n most of my events are held during the weekends.. i've already told Dan today.. when we met up earlier for coffee 1st.. that i won't make it once a month on a friday.. when i have my Bingo night.. i might be able to skip sometimes.. but not all the time.. i cannot expect Cherie n Serene to keep doing the Bingo on my behalf.. it's not fair to them that i'm always excused.. i juz hope that the timetable won't clashed with my work.. for me.. work comes 1st.. study 2nd.. my social life comes in 3rd.. with the way on how's it's going i think my social life will be a BIG FAT ZERO... going out with frens will be harder.. spending time with my cousins too... think the only communication with them will be via smses n msn.. if not email le... haiz..
I guess i will juz have to managed my time as efficient as possible.. i hope i do have time to relax and enjoy my youth.. dun wan to regret it later when i look back later in life..

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