The Ride

the bike ride was a mixture of feelings.. it was interesting.. and scary... it's been a while since i did something advanturous and exciting...

i trusted Smelly.. that's y i went with him on the ride... and i did enjoy myself on the ride.. it was a mixture of emotions as well... i wanted to hug him tight but i couldn't.. i juz held on.. only tightening my grip as he sped up.. the feeling of being so close to him yet so far is unbearable... but i have to accept it.. bit by bit... day by day...

i didn't want the ride to end... but sometimes you juz need to wake up from the dream... as he dropped me off at my place... he wanted a hug.. and i gave in to him.. when the hug ended.. he gave a me a peck on the cheek... it didn't give me any happiness... instead it kinda made me sad.. but i had to smile and thank him for the ride.. i clearly know where i stand.. i cannot want anything else from him.. i have no right to do so...

i may seem strong... but that's just the surface... in the inside.. i feel empty... lonely... sad... a mixture of emotions in me...